I like to steal Memes… because it’s fun!
Stolen from Emerald cause she’s cool and stuff…and I’m bored and stuff… and stuff.
1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, as what or whom would you go?
Well I’d be all cool and pull out my black velvet cape and throw on all black and put on black eyeshadow and black lipstick and be a vampire or some shit…. or is that lame? I’m going with lame.
2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling?
Charcoal baby, charcoal all the way! And I’m a simple girl, cheese, bacon, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, and mustard. Yummy! Now I want a cheeseburger… damn…
3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?
So Mr. President, just how long will I go to Prison for slipping something into your drink that just might kill you??
4. It’s your first day of vacation, what are you doing?
Wandering around scoping out the best places to eat and checking out the hot men!
5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?
Popcorn and Coke! I must have my Coke! But the movie theaters here like to ruin my life and only have Pepsi so I usually end up getting Sierra Mist because Pepsi tastes like ASS.
6. Which do you dislike most, pop-up ads or spam email?
Pop-up ads cause I can make sure I never see spam emails but those damn pop-ups will get you each and very time.
7. What do you think Captain Hook’s name was before he had a hook for a hand?
Captain Wanks Alot
8. Rock, paper, or scissors?
Rock
9. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage?
Ummmm…. when did this happen and why didn’t anyone tell me?? Who’s my husband???
10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?
Too loud… cause then I get sensory overload and freak out.
11. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?
Strength
12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?
Gum balls!
13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?
Uh…. is it bad that the first thing that popped into my head was the Fossil Tower? Aka the old folks high rise apartments in town town?
14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?
Politics ….. it’s soooooooo boring to have to listen to someone go on and on and on about it.
15. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?
Hahah! Just one bitches! Cause I’m that good!
16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?
Mint Chocolate chips.
17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?
Hmmmm…. I could have to say…. processed meat, like bologna… GROSS!
18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?
Keep the first one, that’s ALMOST a tank of gas for my truck!
19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet?
cable TV seriously… dude you aren’t taking away my internets!
20. What is your highest level of education?
High school diploma baby!
21. How much is a gallon of gas in your city?
Right now it’s $3.35 a gallon
22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?
For a little while I had an ALF lunch box then I just brown bagged it for awhile before I finally just bought school lunches. They were actually good!
23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?
Housekeeper because dude… I ain’t ever having kids, I CAN cook, and I like to drive… I just hate having to do laundry!
24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic?
Stuck in traffic… seriously don’t want to be trapped in a little box that could possibly plummet to the ground and kill me.
25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your ‘cleaned up’ swear word?
Son of a monkey’s Uncle Peter!!…. don’t ask, it was made up by my nephew a looooooooong time ago.
Birthdays and why this one is going to be hard for me
So it’s almost that time of year, that time of year that in the past I was so excited for. My birthday… milestones in a young girls life. Finally turning to big 1 – 0! Then 13 and finally being a teenager and ALMOST being SO close to being a woman though I had been having my period for the past 3 years. Then 16 and getting my license and finally being able to drive. Then there was 18 and finally being able to buy my own cigarettes. Then 20 and being one year closer to 21 and being able to buy my own booze, not that I drink all that much. Then 21 came and I went out to a bar!!! And drank less then half a beer because I had to drive home but still!! I want to a bar!! And I bought a beer!! And I drank it!! Then came 22… 23… 24… 25… 26… and now… 27. OMFG I’m going to be 27! on my next birthday and it’s doing weird things to me. I get a panicked feeling sometimes when I think about it. My stomach does this weird hurt thing and I think…. holy fuck! What have I done with my life!
I’ve had boyfriends but none that have been all that spectacular. I’ve been dumped… I’ve been lied too… I’ve been cheated on by guys. I’ve had awesome foreplay only to it lead to some okay sex. As of right now, I’m single and some days I love it and others it fucking sucks. Some days I think what the fuck do I need a man to fuck up my life? To want me to do things with them, to want to have some maybe okay sex, to want to met my parents, to want…. things and bring drama! But is that really fucking up my life? Or would it add to it? I’m one of those women who doesn’t need a man in her life to validate her self worth nor do I need a man to make me feel like more of a woman. I’m a woman regardless if I have a man at my side so this is a hard question.
I have a parcel of nieces and nephews, some I like, some I haven’t seen in YEARS. Some I have fun with and some I want to sting up by their toes. I love them though, they are my babies. I babysit them sometimes and they love me as much as I love them. I don’t allow them to call me Aunt Allie though because that makes me feel old and I’m not old yet, damnit! They can call me Aunt Allie when I have gray hair… uh all over and not just a few in the back. I do silly things to make them smile and they make me smile all the time with their goofy antics.
I have an okay job that really right now isn’t going anywhere fast. I make less then minimum wage and commission for bosses that could give two shits about the fact that small file sizes mean that it’s harder for their workers to, oh I don’t know… live. I’m looking for a new job, hopefully I can find one.
I’ll be 27 and I still live with my parents. That’s right… I still love with my parents. I’ve been working to get my ass out of debt. I was close then was DUMB and got another credit card and then bought a computer. Nice one, dumb ass. I think that’s one part of my problem this year, I’m 27, alone, and I still live with my parents. And I have a cat. I have a cat… I’m turning into the cat lady! Yay!! No boyfriends… not even a prospect really. In the past month I’ve bought some new clothes that I would have never worn, I’ve bought make up have actually worn it almost on a daily basis, and I’m trying to grow my nails out which is hard for a nail bitter. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe it’s because I’m getting 3 years closer to 30. Maybe it’s because I’m single. Maybe it’s because I still live with my parents. Maybe it’s because I don’t even really have a romantic prospect. Maybe it’s because I have a cat…. okay I’ve had the cat for years, it’s not because of that. I’m sure one of these days it’ll hit me and I’ll figure out why this birthday is so hard or maybe it won’t. Maybe my birthday will come and go and I won’t feel any different and we’ll be back here next year and I’ll be going through the same ole anxiety about turning a year older.
Women are classy!
Just a few snippets of a conversations between me and a good friend of mine. Now men, I’m letting you into a the secret world of what two women talk about almost on a daily basis…. you’re welcome! *Names changed to protect the innocent.*
Her: i took the BIGGEST shit today
Me: nice!
Her: lol
Her: i think i needa take another one
Me: ewwww lol
Her: lol
Me: i think i gotta shit too
Her: lol Her: i feel it
Her: its gonna go
Her: (barfing sound)
Her: but from my booty hole
:::
Me: i feel like my asshole is going to explode poop
Me: lol Me: which is gross
Me: i know
Her: my asshole hurts
Her: like i got fucked in it
Her: for 3 weeks straight
Me: i was about to ask if you had rough butt sex
Her: nope
Her: just rough shit
:::
Her: i have to take a shit
Her: i took a HUGE one b4 i came in
Me: i’ve shit probably 6 times in the past two days
Me: it’s horrible!
Her: http://www.amazon.com/Fiber-Bars-Chocolate-5-Count-Boxes/dp/B000UVN632
Her: i’ve been eating those
Me: why?
Her: cuz they’re good
Her: lol
Her: and cheaper than regular granola bars
Me: really?
Her: i love them
Me: do they help you poop?
Her: http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2007/02/05/fiber_one_oats_and_chocolate_bar_review.php
Her: yea
Her: but not like…constantly
Me: NICE
:::
Me: I GOTTA POOP
Me: BRB
Her: K
Me: soooooo…. yeah….. DO NOT go in there…. it STINKS!
Her: LOL
Her: NICE!
Me: hahaha yeah
Pet Peeves and Being sick…
I have many pet peeves, many things that make me go from happy to annoyed as fuck in about two seconds for a few minutes then I’m done and somewhat happy again. I have pet peeves at work… I have pet peeves at home… I have pet peeves in general. Let’s examine some of them, shall we?
Pet Peeves at work:
- I can not stand to hear people chew their food when I’m at one end of the office and you are at the other. Please… try and chew quieter I don’t want to hear you crunch chips.
- If you go out for a smoke break… please do not then come to my computer and lean over me to look at my screen when you REEK of tobacco smoke and your breath is gnarly… eat a fucking tic tac… or 50.
- If you empty the water cooler… refill it.
- Exercise or something so when you are walking by me to go pee or get more food to shove in your gaping maw I don’t have to hear you pant… that’s just gross… and gives me the willies.
- Indoor voices… there is no need to yell.
- Is it really necessary to beat the shit out of the keyboard? I mean REALLY? Do you really need to type so loud that I can hear you from 4 cubicles away?
General/At Home Pet Peeves:
- Slow ass drivers, drive the fucking speed limit at least.
- After you brush your teeth, rinse out the fucking sink, it’s really not that hard.
- After one pees, is it really so hard to NOT flush the toilet? Is it really that strenuous to push down the handle? …. Seriously, that’s one thing that really pisses me off because it’s gross.
- I don’t want to hear you chew gum.
- I don’t want to hear you gulp your drinks.
- I don’t want to hear your music, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. You don’t look “cool” when your bass is so loud it rattles your whole car, you look ridiculous, someone needs to tell you that… or give you a ticket for being a douchebag.
So far that’s all I could think off, I’m sure there’s more and I’m sure I’ll be sharing them with you at a later date.
:::
In other news I woke up sick yesterday, sore throat, sorta runny nose and this morning when I woke up I now have a cough and gunk in my throat. I keep coughing and guzzling water so that my throat doesn’t hurt too bad cause then I’ll turn into Whiny McWhinerstein. And I have a headache. But that’s nothing new. And my legs and hips hurt but that could be from a sucky mattress or from being sick, I haven’t figured it out yet.
Hello world!
It is I! You can call me Allie or hey you or hey dumbass or… well anything your heart desires. This blog will be filled with such things as, embarrassing moments in my life… family stuff… work stuff… hopefully it will all be entertaining! Now a little bit about me, I’m 26 soon to be 27 in April! Uh… this birthday is going to be hard on me soooo there will probably be a blog about it later. I’m 5′5, uh…. stocky, and I have a raunchy sense of humor, I have 5 cats… yes 5!… and my life… well…. it’s A Work In Progress!
